Monday, February 17, 2020

Major Loco And The Case Of The Unwanted Flying Machine

You'll have to read between the lines but if you are abreast of the news in my land you'll know what I'm talking about.  I've decided to present this as the Flying Machine to avoid any issues as social media is now being scrutinized.  

In not too far off lands in North America lives Major Loco.  Major Loco inherited a tremendous flying machine that he despised, hated, and wanted to rid his land of.  For him, it represented everything capitalist and liberal.  He was determined to rid his land of the flying machine but found it very difficult.  From the start, he attempted to sell this flying machine but to no avail.

You see, this flying machine was purchased from one of the major worldwide manufacturers.  It was the behemoth of the skies.  It was meant for previous and future majors who thought it useful to demonstrate the power of the economy, provide space for 200 reporters and dignitaries, and included conference rooms and even a master bedroom.  It sounds very much like other flying machines from other nearby lands and they are useful in cases of attacks on their lands as well as visiting far off lands and showing the prowess and power of the land in question.

What Major Loco hadn't counted on was the simple fact that no one would want to buy a tremendous flying machine that is filled with security electronics, spying devices, and furnishings that wouldn't be to another land's liking.  So, the flying machine has sat in a giant aerodrome for over a year and a half.  The unforeseen consequences of not selling the flying machine are that it has a cost.  The flying machine is on a 20-year lease program, is less than six years into the program, and has depreciated greatly like most flying machines.  Then there has been the cost of storing the flying machine in the aerodrome, maintenance and keeping it shiny and dirt-free.  Imagine, it costs millions.

Major Loco has gone loco over this flying machine to the point that since it isn't wanted, he has decided to sell sweepstakes tickets at a small price to the general public.  But Major Loco recently informed those in his kingdom that the winner or winners will not actually receive the flying machine.  They will be paid a stipend of the supposed $150 million U.S., approx $1 million U.S. for the 10 winners.  The rest, well we really don't know what will be done with it or what will happen to the tremendous flying machine. We think it will be used to pay off the lease and then the major's air squadrons will maintain it until something better comes along.  Also, this last week, Major Loco invited some of his land's wealthiest people who provide millions of jobs to a meeting to "talk about the economy".  Well to those wealthy people's surprise, they were forced to sign documents promising to buy thousands of these tickets. 

Oh, the mind of a socialist major who just happens to be loco.